Forever Love
by Romantic Medievalist
Summary: Post 5x22: "Damon is gone. But I will get him back...I have to. How can I go on living forever without the center of my world?" I hate how Season 6 is going so far, so this is the way I would have had Elena cope in the months after his death.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Vampire Diaries universe, just the plot of this story. And Damon! *sighs heavily* Okay….I don't own him either, except in my dreams. **

**Hello again, everyone! *waves* A huge thank you to all who reviewed my Twilight story, your words meant a lot! My Delena heart broke during the Season 5 finale, and Season 6 has done little to heal it, so I chose to write my own story. I've been wanting to write this for awhile, and I finally had some free time to do it. I may leave this as a oneshot, or I might continue it…..as I have some ideas for future chapters. Let me know what you think! **

Elena POV

I could feel the sunlight peeking through the curtains of my beloved's room. I loved his bed - it was so comfortable, but it was the fact that I could wake up to his beautiful face every morning that made it that way.

I was so lucky to have him in my life….I don't know what I did to deserve him, but am so thankful for it.

I stretch my arms over my head to wake myself up, and then I reach over to feel his skin so I can snuggle with him before I have to get up. But my smile drops immediately when I feel nothing but cold, satin sheets.

In fact, I can barely smell his scent in the room at all, as if he hasn't been in here in months….with a tearful gasp I realize why he isn't there, and I break down into mournful sobs.

I bury my face into his pillow and inhale what is left of his soothing scent to help calm me down. I think to myself, _I can't keep doing this_.

After all the grief and loss that I've endured, you would think I would have it down to a science by now, and I did. After all, I've lost three sets of parents and countless friends and relatives.

But now I have lost him - the center of my world. It didn't begin that way. I smile at the memory of both of our first meetings. That's right, we met for the first time twice, though I wasn't aware of this until after my transition into my new life.

_I was walking down the road that led back to town, away from the party I wasn't supposed to be at in the first place, while talking to my best friend Bonnie about my relationship with my then-boyfriend Matt, or lack thereof: "I know Bonnie, you're right. You and my mom both are. I just can't bring myself to tell him. At least not tonight. I'll call you later." _

_I hang up, only to come face-to-face with the most handsome man I've ever seen. He breathed out the name "Katherine," and I looked around to make sure there was no one else there, and I was confused when I indeed saw no one, "No..I-um…I'm Elena." _

_The handsome stranger then introduces himself as "Damon" and I tell him how creepy it is that's he's out here alone, and he calls me out on being out there too. There's something about this man….his eyes seem to see right through me, and before I think about it I'm telling him about my fight with Matt, and how he's seemingly got our life all mapped out. _

_I then tell him, "I don't know what I want," knowing that isn't really true, and yet again Damon calls me out on it, "Well, that's not true. You want what everybody wants." _

_I smirk and flirt with him a little, asking him what he thinks I want. I'm floored with what he says and am simultaneously angered and turned on by the cockiness in his tone, "You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, an adventure, and even a little danger." _

Thinking back, I'm amazed that even then he knew me better than I knew myself. Things went to hell after that, for my parents showed up and Damon compelled me to forget meeting him, and then my parents' car went off the bridge, and well….you know the rest.

The next time we "met," I was just as captivated by the raven-haired, blue-eyed, arrogant man who seemed to have all the answers.

_I entered the Salvatore boarding house, a little freaked out by the open door and raven that flew over my head, only to come face-to-face with a very hot guy. He told me he was Stefan's brother, which confused and intrigued me since Stefan had never mentioned him. _

_He told me that Stefan wasn't "one to brag," which made me giggle internally - I always loved a guy who had a sense of humor. He then told me about Katherine and his own view on relationships, which instantly made me suspicious about how involved they both were with this mystery woman. _

_Then Stefan walked in, and cue awkward tension moment. I was baffled at the difference between Damon's easygoing nature and Stefan's intense and menacing stance toward his brother. Damon tried to lighten the mood, which made me laugh, but it did little to 'break the ice,' so to speak, so I left. _

I shut my eyes tightly at the memories.…if only I had known then what I know now….I try to shake my head in an attempt to banish thoughts of _him _from my mind, but now that I had begun a trip down memory lane, other flashes of moments between _him_ and me began sneaking through the brick wall I had put up to block them from my thoughts, for my own sanity.

_The fun I had during our "time out" in Georgia….how I felt walk down the staircase in my blue dress at the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant….when he compelled me to forget him telling me that he loved me….his deathbed confession before we found out Stefan had left us….how he never left my side that summer….how he made my birthday so special….how he promised he would never again leave me….our kiss on my front porch….our encounter in Denver….all the times I ran from our connection because I was scared of how deeply I cared for him….how I stupidly chose Stefan over him before I died….our first night together….how he never gave up on me after I turned off my emotions….the night I told him I was in love with him….and the most painful of all - our moment in the woods where he PROMISED he would come back._

A heartbreaking sob breaks through my lips at the last memory. I KNEW something would go wrong! I knew, somewhere deep inside my soul, that if he left he wouldn't be able to come back.

I was so petrified, because now I knew that he was the only person I could never live without. All of my running away from him, and denying my feelings for him, were for this reason alone: his reckless and passionate nature frightened me to my core because I knew one day it would get him killed.

And I fought letting the true depth of my feelings to the surface, because I knew once I admitted to myself how much I loved him…how much he owned my soul…that if I lost him, it would completely destroy me.

I brought Teddy to my chest and hugged him so tightly that I was surprised I didn't destroy him. I had so many memories of Damon laying on my bed with Teddy on his chest. A half-smile crossed my face before I broke down into sobs again.

Streams of tears poured down my face as I hugged Teddy to my chest. _Oh my love, I miss you so very much! I can't do this without you, I just can't! Why did you leave me?! You promised me you wouldn't! You PROMISED! _

I try to calm myself down, and I tell myself to do what I've been doing, what Alaric told me to do when I asked him how I was supposed to go on without _him_: just take it one day at a time….and what I've always done, smile and say "I'm fine" when people ask.

Then, when I feel as if I really can't muster the strength to face another day, I feel warm, strong arms wrap around me and I inhale a burst of his comforting scent. I close my eyes, smile, and take a deep breath.

The next moment, the feeling is gone, but I know he is near. This has happened each time I almost lose the battle to go on, and I take comfort in the knowledge that he is with me….even if I can't see him.

It is the only thing that's keeping me going. That, and the knowledge that somehow, someway, I will find a way to bring him back. After all, I have forever, right?

**So….let me know what you think of it, and if you think I should continue. Thank you for reading this, I love you all! *mwah* See y'all next time! ;-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Everything from the Vampire Diaries universe belongs to L.J. Smith and the CW team. I own the plot of this story. Hope you all enjoy this chapter, and please let me know your thoughts! :) **

**AN: I'm so sorry for my MIA status – life has really been kicking my ass over the last few months. But I felt inspiration hit today, so I decided to make the most of it! Also, someone PM'ed me to ask about the Traveler's Spell, since in the first chapter Elena is holed up in Damon's bedroom. In my universe, the Travelers' spell was undone when Markos and the travelers died, so the gang could enter Mystic Falls again. Those who know me well know of my deep and eternal hatred for Caroline, but she was feeling remorseful and wanted her say, so…here it is. Enjoy! ;) **

Caroline POV

I swear, sometimes I think God, or whoever decides what happens and when it happens, has a personal vendetta against us. If you had my life, you would too. Just when I think we have finally gotten a handle on things, some new "big bad" comes along to mess it all up and make our lives hell again.

My eyes fill with tears as I drive past my best friend Bonnie's house on my way to the boarding house. _Why did you always have to be such a martyr, Bonnie?! We could have found a way to save you too! I swear, you and Elena act like you're cut from the same cloth sometimes__…__. _

I shake my head slightly to make my thoughts focus on what I am on my way to do. I swallow and tighten my hands on the steering wheel as I prepare myself for what I'll find when I get there. Elena has been through a lot over the years, but I think losing Damon might just be the thing that breaks her…the straw that breaks the camel's back, as they say.

I know that saying I was the most enthusiastic one to oppose Elena's choice to be with Damon is the understatement of the century, but even I can see now that he has always been there for her over the past few years, through thick and thin.

Even when she was with Stefan, I saw their connection; but after what he did to me, I hated him so much! I just saw him as this evil bastard that took advantage of me, and I wanted him to suffer! But now, after seeing how he and Elena have changed, and how much they loved each other, I feel so bad for the things I've said and done.

Hell, I even once told him that calling him Satan was an insult to Satan! I always said that he just wanted to get in her pants, but deep down I knew it was more than that. I just didn't want him to be happy – and I can see now what a harpy that turned me into.

Elena once told me that he said he would always choose her above everyone else, and I think we always took that for granted – we always let him do the dirty work, then looked down on him for it. My face crumbles as I remember when I tried to comfort her the night that Damon died….

_I walked into Damon's, I mean their, bedroom, and I see Elena curled up in a ball on the bed, curled up with one of his shirts and sobbing her heart out. My own heart clenches painfully at the scene, and I lay behind her to hold and comfort her, as she did after my dad tortured me._

_However, as soon as I do, she flips around quickly, making me flinch backwards. "HOW DARE YOU?! You have NO right to comfort me! None at ALL! You have no right to even BE here!" Elena screams at me, a look of rage and hatred on her face. Befuddled, my jaw drops and I stutter, "W-what…I-I don't…" _

_Mockingly, she says, "What, is the great, superior Caroline speechless? Shocked that I'm finally done with your hypocritical crap?" I don't know how to reply to that; it's like I don't know her at all. "What did I do?" I manage to whimper out while hugging myself._

_As her eyes darken and black veins appear under her eyes, she replies in a furious tone, "Don't pretend to be sad that Da-, that he's gone. You hated him, and no matter what good he did, nothing could ever redeem him in your eyes! I know what he did was horrible, but that was years ago! _

_He hasn't been the same man that he was back then for a long time! Even when you saw Stefan turn into a worse monster than __**he**__ had ever been, you instantly forgave Stefan, but not __**him**__. Of course not! The very idea is unfathomable, right?! Even now, when he has sacrificed his life for us!"_

_I open my mouth to protest, but she continues, "DON'T! You don't get to defend yourself! Not when all you've done over the last few years is belittle, insult, and even plot against him! _

_I lost so much time with him, all because I was afraid of my feelings, knowing you and my so-called friends would never accept it if I had chosen him! All this time…WASTED…because I couldn't – no wouldn't – put him first!"_

_Tears filled my eyes as I realized how right she was. Was he a monster when he first came to town, and did he treat me abominably? Yes, but he had his emotions off and little-by-little Elena changed him. I think of all the things he did, both good and bad, and then I think of how we all, especially me, blamed him for making the decisions we didn't have the guts to make. _

_I looked up, seeing her almost vibrate in her rage, and sobbed while I begged her forgiveness for being so blind, "Elena, I-I am so sorry….you have no idea how sorry I am! I've been so stupid, and childish, and vindictive, and I'm so sorry! _

_I know that it's no excuse, but I just couldn't see past what he did to me, to see the man he became, the man that you helped him become!" _

_Elena's eyes softened momentarily before anger hardened them again, "I know that he hurt you, but you're right - it's no excuse! And it doesn't matter now, does it? HE'S GONE!" _

_Then she gasps and a panicked, heartbreaking look fleets across her face, "Oh God! He's gone! He's gone! He's really gone this time! I-I-I can't do this without h-him!"_

_I can see that she was falling to pieces, so I move to embrace her, but she moves out of my reach. "Don't touch me! Get out! You don't belong here, in our room! No one belongs here but us! LEAVE!" _

_I cover my mouth with my hand to hide the sobs threatening to break free as I see her fall to her knees, "Elena, please let me help you! You don't have to go through this alone!" She yells, "NO! I don't WANT you here! I NEED him, but all of you TOOK him away! Just LEAVE!"_

_I manage a weak nod, and try to hold myself together as I back out of the room, walk down the stairs, and out to my car. My hands shake as I try to open the door, but I finally get it open and when I sit down and put the keys in the ignition, I drop my head onto my hands over the steering wheel and cry…_

As I come out of the memory and pull into the driveway, I look in my rearview mirror, not at all surprised to see the tears streaming down my face. I was petrified to come back after that, afraid of hurting her more than I already had. I look towards the house, and take a deep breath to steel myself for the upcoming conversation before exiting my car and walking up to the door.

Elena POV

After getting the strength to get out of bed, I straighten out the sheets and the comforter, taking meticulous care to make sure it's perfect, then I take a shower and get dressed. As I walk down the hallway to the library, _his_ favorite place in the house, I hear a car pull up to the house.

I try to think of who it might be, then shrug and decide it doesn't matter. The only person that does is never coming back. I feel the tears start to build up, but I push them back; it's time to put up the wall I've built t around my emotions to keep anything from reaching me in front of others.

I flash to the front door, and after the person knocks, I open it to see someone I really don't want to deal with: Caroline. "What are you doing here?" I ask in a hard voice. Her eyes water and she looks down briefly before meeting my gaze and says, "I wanted to see how you are."

I school my expression as I recall Ric's advice, _"Don't react, Elena. Remain in control."_ I inhale to calm myself, then I say, "I'm fine. I don't need you checking up on me. I'm sure your curiosity could have been satisfied by asking Ric or Jeremy, so why don't you tell me what this is really about so you can leave?"

Her eyes widen and she blushes in embarrassment, while I smirk as I call her out on her deception. "Umm…well I've kind of been helping Ric, and asked him not to tell you since I didn't know if you wanted my help or not. Today he said he might really have something this time, and that I should be the one to tell you, like an olive branch or something."

As she blushes further, I can feel my own face reddening as well, but I wasn't blushing. As I reached my boiling point, I remember something Matt said during one of our talks, and realize he knew about Caroline helping Ric: _"Just remember that if we ever do something that you don't agree with, just remember that we're doing it because we want what's best for you."_

I close my eyes and try to clear my mind, before opening them again and I say, "Fine. Let's get this over with. I promise to be civil, but this doesn't mean we're friends." I see her face fall, and mentally roll my eyes; she's as stupid as her blonde hair makes her look if she thinks I'll forgive her treatment of Da-, _him_, so easily.

Lately, I've felt a connection to the Bella character from that new Twilight vampire saga, _New Moon_ now. How she remained sane with this unbearable pain and this hole in her chest is beyond me.

No matter what Barbie says – I smile at my use of Damon's favorite nickname for her – I refuse to get my hopes up; when I have done so in the past it only made the pain worse. I move to open the door enough to let her in, and as she passes, I see her eyes widen when she sees that the living room is filled with pictures of Damon and I. They make me feel closer to him.

As she sits on the couch, I see her pick up a photo from a nearby table and she seems utterly confused, "He seems like a completely different person in this picture." I walk over and snatch it from her, and smile slightly when I see it's one that Jeremy took when I fell asleep on _his_ chest and he looks at me lovingly. I trace his face with my finger as I remember that day.

Then her words sink in, and I recall a conversation _he_ and I had the morning after our first night together…_I__ pull back from our kiss and ask in a confused tone, "What's that face?" "What face?" he replies before smiling widely. "That face," I retort, smiling. He rolls his eyes and says in an it-should-be-obvious tone before kissing me again, "I'm happy."_

Tears fill my eyes as I think of all the happy days we had, and all the ones we would have had if I hadn't been so stupid and afraid, and then I look at Caroline and say, "That's because you never knew him."

A look of sadness and shame crosses her face, before she lowers her head to stare at her hands. I clear my throat and put the picture back on the table, then sit down in _his_ chair. "So, what new information did you guys find, and why is this time different?"

She seems relieved to be on a new topic, and she tells me all about this witch coven in New York that supposedly has the ability to contact their ancestors, and also that they're the descendants of Qetsiyah. My lips curl into a snarl when I hear that name. That bitch and her damn travelers are the reason for all this – for me losing Damon!

"Elena. Elena! ELENA!" I shake those thoughts from my head and look at Caroline, who looks like she's been calling my name for a few minutes. "Sorry, I just lost it for a minute when I heard that bitch's name!" Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped, and under other circumstances I might have laughed at her reaction to my use of profanity.

She swallows audibly, and while I mentally snicker at her discomfort, she tells me that Matt and Stefan have gone to investigate them while Ric tries to gather further information. Apparently Ric thinks they might know of a loophole or where Bonnie and _he_ went, since Qetsiyah was the one who created the Other Side.

"I really think this is it Elena, we've really made some progress research-wise!" I smile at I see my old friend Caroline, the one who was so easily excited by happy news. I really missed that Caroline, but it seemed after she turned and developed a stronger attitude, she also developed a disdain for those she deemed beneath her, like _him_.

That is one thing I can never forgive her for, making _him_ feel like he didn't deserve happiness or even my love. I'll accept her help in getting him back, because it's the very least she can do, but nothing will ever make up for all that she's done. Nothing.


End file.
